Deserving Company

This is an awkward question but
what do you do with yourself
when you're eating alone?
Do you listen to music?
I'm sure we all do, but
that's not really doing anything
is it? Do you try to read
and feel uncomfortable about
the fact that you just might
stain your book and you
really can't keep the pages from
flipping by themselves anyway
while you're stuffing food
into your mouth? Do you act,
as so many of us must, as if
you actually might be able to get
a forkful of food into your mouth
without looking, while
nonchalantly chuckling at
some passage in your book you
simply couldn't dream of
pulling your eyes away from in
order to make sure the fork hits
its mark? Do you try to ignore
the fact of your sitting there
by yourself, pretending you love
to be the lone diner, chewing
away in solitude? Do you wonder
what it is you did to deserve this,
this emptiness, these echoes,
this odd longing for another
pair of moving lips? Do
any of us deserve it and, if so,
why do we pretend we don't
mind, and exactly how long
will it take until we've paid our
dues and we can start having
company for dinner again?

(2006)