Bean Counters

All right. I get it now, that so-called
genius boils down to being able to
account for multiple variables
changing in time and/or space.
I get it. I also get that most folks
mistakenly believe that math and
science are the really tough subjects,
meant only for the geniuses
of the world to mess with.
Accountants and number crunchers
only need apply, savvy in a tycoon
sort of way. I'd like to present to you
a standing challenge: I invite
any brave souls out there who consider
themselves geniuses to fill me in
on the ways of the woman kind.
I mean it. You're so damn smart,
come explain to me how a lady
can want a polite man but also
a man who's a raging prick at
the same time. Help me
understand why my ex walked out,
all the while claiming she really
did love me. Better yet explain
to me why I feel so much more
at peace than ever. Really, I
invite you to tackle any old topic
which plagues us day in and day out,
racism, social stratification,
religious violence--where do
they come from and why are they
still here? Can you tell me that?
Shouldn't be too much trouble,
right? I mean, someone so good
with numbers should be just
the right person to help us with
the toughest philosophical
questions of history, right?
And everything. Bean counters
know not a wit more than I
about love, or peace, or
lasting happiness. Why are they
so valued, so highly esteemed?
They're the ones who run the
numbers. You do the math.

(2007)