Get to Know Me

I woke up yesterday and realized
I never got to know me.
I woke up and it was clear
I've been in some kind of
waking coma
for so long it just can't be true.
But it is.
The last thing I remember
is being 21 and full of hope.
I'm not deadly clear on
what all I've done, if anything,
or where I've been, if anywhere.
Such memory loss is to be expected
with a coma, of course, but you'd think
if I'd been conscious at all
I'd recall at least something.
Truth is, I do remember vaguely
telling folks on more than one occasion
that I knew myself, that I had found myself,
that I had found peace.
How could I have been so full of lies?
I didn't even know I was actually
dead to the world.
I woke up yesterday and became
myself again, just like that,
like flipping on a light.
I forgot how much I need
the uncertainty, the sense of what's precious
and what's sacred, the sense of
a love-filled mystery
that every single day brings.
Most importantly,
I forgot--
or maybe never knew--
that I really am a morning person.
Now I eat mornings for breakfast just like I should.

(2006)