Needles Suck, Nurses Rock

When you get stuck with needles
at least once a day for years on end,
you become attached to who's
doing the sticking and how. Even
if it's you who's got to stick yourself
everyday, you develop a relationship
with that person who sits there poking
a sharp object into various parts of
his body, just as part of his routine.
And especially with nurses, there
develops a hyper-intuitive bond that
knows no shame or sorrow, only,
"Let's stick the needle in today and
pretend you don't have what you have,
and we'll laugh, tell stupid jokes,
and act as if there's just not a worry
in the world." Yesterday, Terry was
prepping my forearm and she said,
"Where's Clint? Oh, he's on
the other side. I'm standing here
thinking, 'Now, I know he couldn't
have gone anywhere.' Other arm. Duh."
Terry loves to say really stupid things
like that because she knows it makes
the whole needle-pricking experience
just that much more bearable, almost
downright enjoyable in fact. If every
doctor in the world made a habit of
saying at least one really stupid thing
every time they talk to a patient, sick
folks everywhere would collectively
breathe a sigh of relief, go home from
their ugly hospital visits, from their
overly long waits in waiting rooms,
from their weekly blood lettings, and
actually feel hopeful for the first time
in years, actually smile to themselves
in the mirror thinking, "Maybe there
really is someone out there stupider
than me.".

(2006)