Negatives of Speaking Chinese

5. It is perennially incumbent on you to wrangle with Chinese folks; it's a lot easier to understand their broken English if you know what they'd be saying in their native tongue.

4. You occasionally hear Chinese folks talking shit about you or your friends, but you know it's not fair to let on that you understood.

3. Poor translations of Chinese, which abound, are that much more obvious and quite nearly painful.

2. Most white folks who speak Chinese have atrociously bad accents; it takes a lot of strength not to say anything.

1. When the Chinese finally take over the world, you're likely to be enslaved as a translator and interpreter.