Benefits of American Theocracy

5. You're not a sinner just because you're a capitalist pig.

4. Soon, a trip to the bank will be just as good as a visit to church.

3. Our representatives can feel like they're better even than the founding fathers by thoroughly sullying the foundational and Constitutional principles of this country.

2. The president is the new Pope.

1. Make billions of dollars and you've got an automatic ticket to heaven.